Research Reflection Annotation

The topic of my research paper was humanity in regards to prejudice and injustice. The purpose was to get the readers to think of others as humans just like themselves, with the same rights, emotions, and pains. There have only been two different drafts of the paper; one that I turned in for peer review and one that I turned into the professor. I took my paper to the writing center before handing it into my professor and I intend to do this again before turning in the final portfolio. I took the notes given by my peer and the person in the writing center into consideration when revising my paper for the second draft. What I learned while researching my topic, along with the steps I used to produce my paper, will help me write more research papers in other classes in the future.

Abstract/Annotated Bibliography Reflection Annotation

The image I chose to explore was a picture of a hand with the word “love” written on it in different languages. From this picture I decided to research the topic of humanity in terms of prejudice and injustice. I chose to present this topic through historic examples, from different countries, of prejudice or injustice against humanity. I found these examples from databases and online sources. While researching my topic I read about a lot of interesting things that I didn’t use in my paper but were still fascinating to learn about. These examples on top of the ones I used in my paper are knowledge that I will keep with me and hopefully be able to apply later on in a different class.

Overall Reflection Annotation

In the second half of this class we learned more about the different aspects of the writing process and we focused mostly on a different style of writing, researching. On top of our weekly readings we also explored the messages behind images, how to research, and various ways to outline, draft, and write thesis statements.

One thing I learned from the Richard Miller video was that it is possible to research scholarly sources without entering a library. This is made possible by technology and the transformation of communication. I incorporate this idea in my life because when I write a paper I always type it on the computer and then revise it, I never physically write it out on a piece of paper. When we researched images on the internet, we had to extract a meaning from the picture; sometimes the image is making a statement, sometimes it’s telling a story. When I look at a piece of art I always try to discover a meaning within the image. While learning about researching, I was introduced to the world of databases. I learned how to use them and what kind of information I could find within them. Having found out how to utilize databases, I spent a lot of time with them exploring and searching for information for my paper. We were introduced to many various ways to outline, draft, and write thesis statements. Each method applied to different styles of learning so that everyone could find a method that worked for them. While writing my research paper I used some of the techniques introduced to us.

In the future when I write I’m definitely going to incorporate the use of databases and the different methods for outlining, drafting, and writing thesis sentences. These items have helped me the most when it comes to becoming a better and more organized writer.

Drafting Plan

Saturday: spend an hour going through the sources I have and extract information from them.
Sunday: spend an hour going through the sources I have and extract information from them.
Monday: spend an hour to write using the information I have.
Tuesday: spend an hour to write using the information I have.
Wednesday: spend an hour writing and looking for new information if necessary.
Thursday: spend as much time as I need to finish the draft. Take the paper to the writing center.
Friday: turn in draft to a student.
Saturday: spend an hour revising
Sunday: spend an hour revising
Monday: spend an hour revising. Take the paper to the writing center.
Tuesday: turn in draft to the professor.

Reflection from class

In class we used three different methods to review our introduction paragraphs. I didn't like the relationship method because it seemed too tedious. The does/says method was easy to accomplish which i liked however i don't feel like it's thorough enough. The t/p/a method was the best in my opinion. It clearly points out the topic and purpose of the paragraph and also demonstrates how all the sentences are relevent to the topic and purpose. In the future I will most likely use the t/p/a method.

Video Summary

Since we didn't have class on Tuesday we had to watch three videos that presented the information we missed in class. The videos taught us about outlines. As we move on to the drafting phase of our next portfolio we need to focus on organization. There are many ways to organize thoughts. Some work better than others depending on the kind of learner you are. The traditional way to outline your paper is by using roman numerals. This method works best when you have topic, support, and evidence sentences. Another way is by freewriting. This way is good for natural drafters, however after freewriting it is necessary to edit and cut your ideas in order to write the paper. The third way to outline is by MEAL, which stands for main idea, evidence, analysis and link. Many people use this method for their body paragraphs, and not necessarily their introduction and conclusion paragraphs. The last method for organizing your thoughts is by showing and telling. Telling is simply making your observations while showing is using evidence to support your observations. Typically each paragraph will contain three or four shows and three or four tells.

Annotations for 3 sources

Source 1: Identity and Violence Amartya Sen
This book focuses on a persons identity, how we tend to identify others, and the violence these perspectives cause. This is relevant to my topic of humanity because it gives insight to why people perform acts of prejudice and injustice.

Source 2: "A Legend in humanity" Robyn-Denise Yourse
This newspaper article is about John Legend's effort to reach out to humanity. This is relevent to my paper because it provides a positive example of the good in people and how his fame helps him spread the same message i'm trying to convey in my paper.

Source 3: "prejudice" Encyclopedia Britannica
The encyclopedia entry for the word "prejudice" explains different kinds of prejudice and possible reasons why it occurs. This helps me explain to my readers why we have prejudice and why we need to get rid of it.

Introduction

Acts of inhumanity take place all throughout the world. For as long as humans have been living, they have been affected by prejudice and injustice. Why does this occur? We’re all human with the same emotions, pains, and capabilities to love and be loved. In order to rid the world of this cruel aspect of life, it is important to understand this sense of humanity and treat others accordingly with respect and equality. Examples and the effects of acts of prejudice and injustice against humanity will inform others, persuade them against these actions, and demonstrate the need for peace.

Abstract

Context

Everyone is human; we all have the same rights, emotions, pains, and capability to love and be loved despite our backgrounds. This message is clearly conveyed in my image. However people don't always see things this way which causes a problem.

Problem

The problem is that there is too much prejudice, inhumanity, and hate crimes in the world. This is a problem because these acts are unnecessary and unjust to those who are affected by them. The affect of these actions may also lead to greater effects on an individual, their families, society, and even the world.

Launching Point

In this paper i would like to convey a message about the problem that hopefully causes the readers to think of others as humans just like themselves. I plan on demonstrating this point of view through past examples of unjust or inhumane acts against certain groups of people and how these acts affected those who were targeted.

Topic and sources

Topic:

Humanity, prejudices, peace

Sources:

1. Baird, Robert M. Bigotry, Prejudice, and hatred: definitions, causes & solutions. Ed. Stuart E. Rosenbaum. Buffalo, N.Y.: Prometheus books, 1992. Print.

2. Biggar, Nigel. Burying the past: making peace and doing justice after civil conflict. Ed. Nigel Biggar. Washington, D.C.: Georgetown UP, 2001. Print.

3. Nasr, Seyyed H. The hear of Islam: enduring values for humanity. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2002. Print.

4. "prejudice." Encyclopædia Britannica. 2009. Encyclopædia Britannica Online. 02 Nov. 2009 .

5. Robertson, Geoffrey. Crimes against Humanity: The strugle for global justice. Penguin, 1999. Print.

6. "Guy Fawkes." Encyclopædia Britannica. 2009. Encyclopædia Britannica Online. 02 Nov. 2009 .

7. Anne Roiphe. "Just Another Genocide :[1]. " The Jerusalem Report 11 Aug. 2003: General Interest Module, ProQuest. Web. 5 Nov. 2009

8. Sen, Amartya. Identity and Violence The Illusion of Destiny (Issues of Our Time). New York: W. W. Norton, 2007. Print.

9. Yourse, Robyn-Denise. "A Legend in humanity; Singer devotes effort to helping world's poor." LexisNexis Academic. 18 June 2008. Web. 5 Nov. 2009. .

Richard Miller Summary

Richard Miller's video reminded me a lot of the reading we had by Burkdall. Miller talks about the change in communication and how it has become more instantaneous. He believes "we're living at the moment of the greatest change in human communication in human history." He also focuses on the multimedia aspects of communication and publication. Miller uses a personal example of how he incorporated visual images, audio clips, and text into one of his published works to demonstrate this. With the technology of computers, people are able to write, read, research, publish, and communicate on the web anywhere at anytime without picking up a pencil or opening a book. He mentions how he was assigned an article on the one year anniversary of the Virginia Tech. killings. He explains how he wrote and researched this whole article without stepping a foot in the library. He simply was able to find the information online and type it in a word document. In the reading by Burkdall, he also observes the rise of multimedia and its affects on our learning and teaching methods. Both Miller and Burkdall approve of the integration of multimedia and writing, which is why these two texts reminded me of each other.

YIng Yang Image

Music Image

Love Image

Mike Rose Summary

"I Just Wanna Be Average" by Mike Rose tells the story about some of his experiences throughout high school. When he was a freshman he accidentally got placed into the vocational program. Instead of putting up a fight to try to get out, he made the best of his situation. Rose goes into detail describing specific events and different types of people he meets, ranging from jocks and rebels to bullies and "hodads". He illustrates for the reader the personalities of certain teachers he came across, while in the vocational program, who were unenthusiastic about their job and didn't believe in the capability of their students. Rose shows through personal experience how this lack of faith from the teachers causes the students to slack off and not care about their schoolwork. During Rose's sophomore year he really enjoyed and did well in his biology class with Brother Clint. Clint was shocked by Rose's success in the class and checked the records only to find the school's mistake concerning his placement. Switching into the college prep program was a difficult transition, however Rose was able to overcome this challenge. As a senior, Rose had an English teacher, Mr. MacFarland, who he really looked up to. MacFarland and Rose became close, MacFarland even persuaded and then helped Rose get into college. One can tell by the way Rose describes his relationship with MacFarland that he had a positive impact on Rose's life. In the middle of portraying these events, Rose mentions the death of his father which seemed a little irrelevant in my opinion. The purpose of this writing is to show how someone can impact your life when you least expect it. The title of this writing is "I Just Wanna Be Average", a quote from a classmate Rose met, while in the vocational program, that stuck with him his whole life. The purpose is also to touch on the stereotypes of certain students based of the classes they take, and some of the flaws within the school system. Taking a look at Mike Rose's blog, his passion with education and his faith in people are undoubtedly apparent. Rose has chosen to dedicate his life to this cause.

Yancey Summary

The text we had to read this week focuses on portfolios and the different aspects of them. There are either written, or print, portfolios; or electronic, or eportfolios. Yancey briefly talks about written portfolios and how they are one dimensional. They focus on the assignment and contain a sense of finality to them. Whereas an eportfolio is multidimensional and is forever changing. Eportfolios have the capability of containing multimedia samples, such as video or audio clips, pictures, or other visual effects. Yancey mentions the role of structure and process in both types of portfolios. She gives examples, from different colleges and universities, of the evolution of students' eportfolios. Most importantly she stresses the necessity to make connections, reiterate, and intertwine the personal with the public. One of the final things Yancey does is compare eportfolios to samplers. She mentions how samplers are templates, compositions, and reiterative; much like eportfolios.

Podcast Terms

1. Collection-showcases validity of work
2. Range-use of different genres shows different areas of expertise
3. Context Richness-instruction and assessment are intertwined
4. Delayed Evaluation-you can revise your work at any time
5. Selection-best quality of work
6. Student-Centered Control-you're in control of your grade based on the selection you make
7. Reflection and Self Assessment-deals with our annotations, reflections on our work and the strategies used for it. Helps us see what areas need to be worked on.
8. Specific Parameters-what you learned and how you learned it.
9. Development over time-shows who you've become as a writer

James Kinneavy’s Aims of Discourse Summary

James Kinneavy's Aims of Discourse is a chart that interprets the relationship between the reader, writer, and context. Kinneavy's chart consists of a triangle. The three corners are composed of the encoder, the writer; the decoder, the reader; and reality, the context. In the middle of the triangle is the word "style". Branching from each of these four main points are lists of different forms of written communication. These lists demonstrate the relationship between the writer, or the encoder, and the three other subjects. For example, if the writer is focused on pleasing itself, then the writing will come out in the form of a diary, journal, conversation, or manifesto. This is classified as expressive writing. Whenever the writer is concerned with the reader, their writing may take the form of advertisements, sermons, or editorials. These are considered persuasive forms of writing. Referential writing is produced when the writer is concerned with reality. Some examples include dialogues, seminars, reports, textbooks, and scientific articles. Finally, when the writer writes with concerns for style, he produces what is referred to as literary forms of writing. Examples would be short stories, novels, movies, lyrics, or dramas.

Self Review

I feel like my introduction paragraph is precise and to the point. My thesis statement could be simplified and rewritten more clearly. I don't think it could be organized any differently but my development could use some work. I need to use better diction. I would like for my paper to be more specific and detailed. I could do a better job at pointing out the relationship between the thesis and the topic of each paragraph. My conclusion paragraph is simple and to the point.

"How do you respond to students writing" summary

In this video three teachers discuss how they respond to their student's writing. Tinberg says that he tries to be aware of the audience while reading a student's paper. Early in his career he was very strict with his grading and very particular with minute details. Since then he has learned to be more constructive with his comments on a student's paper. His comments are either summative or formative. They either rationalize the given grade or advise the student on what they can do to improve their paper in its next revision. Sanchez makes it certain to give back very general comments. He doesn't want his students to feel that being a successful writer is the same as pleasing their professor. He supports Bartholomae and is very clear with his feedback in order to help the student achieve their goal. He focuses on differing between evaluating and responding whenever he's grading a student's paper. Sommers claims that the argument is important to keep in mind when grading a paper. She struggles with whether or not she should comment on every error or just the major ones. She doesn't want to be viewed as an inadequate teacher. She tries to be sure that all her feedback has a purpose and she makes a distinction between rough draft comments and final draft comments. Sommers also highly values feedback from her students. She wants to know how they feel about her comments and how she may improve to become more clear or constructive.

Do all teachers put forth this much effort and care into grading a paper? If not, why?

Which teacher's views would the majority of students like the most when a teacher is grading their paper?

Revision work

Overall:
My essay describes my writing process.
It does this by explaining the steps in my process and describing it in a physical way, the way elbow encourages. It expresses the way my process appears, smells, and sounds.

Paragraph 1:
This paragraph introduces the topic of the text.
It clearly explains what the rest of the paper will describe. It expresses the topic of each paragraph.

Paragraph 2:
This paragraph explains how my writing process physically appears.
It compares its appearance to that of what a writing process should appear like. It lists all the steps in my writing process.

Paragraph 3:
This paragraph describes the way my writing process smells.
It uses a story from when i was younger to explain why my writing process smells the way it does, and how this smell became a part of my writing process.

Paragraph 4:
This paragraph tells how my writing process sounds.
It uses descriptive sensory words to help the reader hear the sounds.

Paragraph 5:
This paragraph explains how not doing the steps in my writing process throws me off.
It uses an example to help support my reasoning.

Paragraph 6:
This paragraph reiterates how my writing process is physically described.
It explains the reasoning for describing the writing process this way by mentioning Elbow's liberal beliefs on the writing process.

The Persistence of Writing Summary

This article focuses on the relationship between reading/writing and multimedia. Multimedia has a major effect on not only a students reading and writing skills but also their desire to read and write. Many would claim that multimedia and reading/writing are complete opposites and only have negative effects on each other. Or that audio and visuals are going to take the place of written words. Burkdall however feels that we should interconnect both objects. He believes that we should use them together instead of against each other. For example, not everything can be done orally. Whether someone is either giving a presentation or acting in a movie there is always a written script involved. Burkdall feels that "having students create both written and multimedia texts allows them to contrast the effects of their words in a variety of situations." This helps the students to understand things such as diction, register, and transitions in a new way. They can compare the two methods and learn different things from each of them. This is why it is suggested that when one is writing they should read their words aloud to hear how they sound.

Would converting to multimedia texts and eliminating written words be considering degressing back to when things were passed through generations orally?

Do you think we'll ever get to a point where we have the advanced technology and don't have the need for written text anymore?

Elbow/Bartholomae writing

The writing process is the combination of steps a writer takes in order to create their piece of writing. The writing process is like reading a book; you have to do things in order. You can't read the end of the book before you read the beginning. It's also like shooting a free throw in basketball. Everyone has their own rhythm or ritual they perform before they shoot a free throw. Each writer also has their own process they perform to focus on their writing and do their best work. The consistency of repeating the same steps everytime is a comfort to the writer which helps them execute their tasks. The repitition of the steps is what causes a persons writing process to exist. If the steps a writer takes to begin writing is unhealthy or harmful this may have a negative effect in the future. A writer's process is helpful to the writer however if he/she were ever to be in a situation where they can't perform their process before writing, they may be thrown off and not be able to write the best they could write. Bartholomae touches on this aspect when he mentions the effects of the environment on the writer.

My writing process is very distracting and time consuming. It sounds like the music on my ipod and the voices of my friends. It doesn't look like a person writing at all. My writing process is similar to that of Elbow. I don't like planning or outlining before I write. Both him and I sort of spit out everything in our heads and then make sense out of it. My writing process is like a person with A.D.D., I get distracted very easily and waste a lot of time before I finish my assignment. The parts of my writing process include listening to music and talking to my friends online. While I do this I reread the prompt many times until I get an idea in my head of what to write about. Once I have an idea, I must turn off my music and stop all conversations and write everything that comes to my mind. If I come to a writer's block, I turn the music back on and repeat the process until I finish my paper.

Revision Plan

My revision plan:

1. I agree with almost all the edits my peer editor made. He suggested rewording some of my phrases and smoothing out my transitions between paragraphs.
2. I plan to make these revisions as well as organize my paper better and add more detail
3. Tomorrow I'm going to retype my paper with the corrections my peer editor made. Wednesday I'm going to add more details to my paper. Thursday I'll finish it up by organizing the paper and printing it to turn in on Friday.
4. I believe that this paper is going to be a good example of my writing. I've had a lot of practice with this style of writing.

Elbow/Bartholomae Debate Summary

This article focuses mainly on academic writing. Bartholomae describes how he defines academic writing and how he feels about the way it should be taught to our students. He mentions the classroom and the effects of the environment in which the writer is working on the writer's product. He discussions the struggle writers have of being able to create something that is their own and not a repeat of a previous story or piece or writing. He also mentions the influence of time, politics, and culture on a person's writing. Bartholomae believes that we should teach our students to write without these influences. They should be free of these outside pressures in order to write something that is uniquely theirs. He feels that this is the students right.

How does academic writing difer from other styles of writing?

Is it possible to create a story or piece of writing that has never been produced before?

Free Writes

"I want to have a more focused ritual that is more productive since my rituals are very distracting and time consuming."

My rituals for writing involve music and talking to friends online while i write. Both these activities are very distracting and take up a lot of extra time. I'm even listening to music right now as I'm writing this. As my professor pointed out, my rituals could be worse. They could be unhealthy or harmful. I think an ideal ritual would be healthy and productive. Maybe I could make it my ritual to work out before I write and eat a healthy meal. That way I would be contributing to my health and it would give me energy to sit down and focus on writing my paper.

"My teacher says I'm a good writer because I can summarize information well."

I don't feel like I am a good writer because I don't enjoy it and I always put off my writing assignments until the last minute; I've had all weekend to do this assignment and I'm just now doing it the day that it is due. However I do enjoy reading. Last summer I read four or five books. Our assignment last week was to summarize a video we watched and my teacher said I did a good job on it. Maybe I could get a job as someone who reads books and writes the summary that goes on the back of the cover. That would be pretty awesome since i would be getting paid to read which i love to do. Also, I would be summarizing the stories which I can do very well.

My writing skills

Writing has never been high up on my list of things I like about school. I have always been an average writer but I have never enjoyed it. My strength as a writer is that I am pretty good with grammar and spelling. Whenever I write there are rarely ever any grammatical mistakes. Other than this aspect, nothing about my writing really stands out as something extraordinary. My biggest weakness is that I never go into enough detail. I struggle with describing my ideas in depth. The only time I truly enjoy writing is whenever I am writing poetry or lyrics to a song. I like how this style of writing is completely creative and personal. You’re not trying to persuade the reader or drown them with facts; you’re simply expressing yourself or telling a story. Last year in my government class, we were each assigned a Supreme Court case that we had to learn about and present to the class. My case was U.S. v. Nixon. I chose to present it by writing lyrics to the tune of “Jumper” by Third Eye Blind. I believe that I earned an A on the presentation because I had fun writing and preparing it. This kind of writing that promotes creativity and uniqueness, and disregards rules or guidelines, appeals the most to me.

summary of Peter Elbow video

In Peter Elbow’s video he talked about his experience with writing. He is currently a professor of English but previously dropped out of school due to his struggle with writing. He discusses how he improved his writing skills and what methods worked for him. He uses his personal experiences to explain that it is ok to make mistakes. This is in fact how we learn. By failing we discover what went wrong and how we can improve it in order to succeed the next time around. Peter goes against what most teachers or professors suggest and tells us not to organize our ideas before writing. Many teachers I have known always say that creating an outline or a web of your ideas is the first step to writing a paper. Peter Elbow tells us that for him, the writing process was much easier whenever he didn’t organize his thoughts. He simply wrote down everything that came to his mind until he had more than enough information for the paper. He then went through and put things in their place and took out what wasn’t necessary, as if the paper were a puzzle. The last thing he talks about is creating and criticizing his own work. We can’t be afraid to critique our own writing because this is how we improve our writing.

Would Peter's method of making a mess and then cleaning it up really save time in the writing process?

Is it more beneficial to sit down and write a paper all at once, or to write a little bit at a time with breaks in between?